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Death and Relationships

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Ben Palmer


At 4 in the morning, after some gin, and watching an anime called "Hunter x Hunter", I thought it would be a good idea to write about death. The following blog post is the outcome of that idea.


Death, in a physical matter, is not so much a big deal. Our bodies are composed of various items. and there are various systems in place which we do not yet fully understand that make those items coordinate towards one goal of survival. I use the term survival loosely, in an assumption that every action a living being take is trained from different survival techniques (refer to the darwinism post in my other blog). It is notable the irrelevance of a death because thousands of people die all the time, and it hardly impacts our lives. Take the current corona outbreak. There are thousands of people that have died from that in the past month. and the only influence their deaths have is the social and economic impact the reaction to a pandemic has, not the death itself. Deatj becomes a big thing when it is applied to emotional attachment. Bhuddists stress the suffering attachment has, because change of the state you are attached to causes grief where it is usually unnecessary. I am not suggesting death is not a grievous occasion, I am lmerely suggesting that the attachments and emotions around death are what make it grevious. There are two distinct scenearions in which death impacts us: Death of a known correspondant, or death of our selves, :Let us dive into those


There are a couple reasons the death of a correspondent would be devistating to us. one, it makes us think on our own death, and fritends us. Secondly, it is an end to the interactions we have with them. This could be good or bad, and for some reason our culture makes out that we can not feel ill towards those who are dead, but that seems opposite to me, as it is the dead person who will have no opinion of how you judge them. Feeling relief over the death of someone is appropriate when it makes your life easier in the same way feeling sad when someone dies is appropriate when that person has made your life better. Back to the point, it is not the ending of the life that impacts you, it is the ending of the contribution that life played into your own life, and thus a reaction to the change in your life based off the death of another. This makes death a similar disturbance as getting fired, winning the lottory, getting married, or any other life changing event.. The reason death of others holds such abig toll is that we do not recognize this in our society. What we recognize is that the "person" is no longer there, and how do we preserve such person. and how do we remember such person, and on and on, A :"person" is a collection of responses to stimuli that we assoceate with one human, much in the same way we associate leaves with being green, even though leaves are not always green, and people are not always the :person: we have associated with them. So in reality, the :person"" does not die, because it was the traits we associated with a conglomerate being. Ir is the ability of that said being to act that ceases. So our culture has confused the two, and think the person has died and needs us to somehow act to save them in the memorie of time. This is all rather silly in my opinion, each human will have a different set of attributes they associate with each person, and such each human should respond in their own way to the death of another.


Death of the self is a different matter. Death of the self means a couple things, one the ceasing of experinecing what happends, and two, the inability to affect the world any more. The stopping of being able to experience what happends is devistating indeed, as your life is then concluded, and nothing wlse will happen to you. There are beliefs that after you die, your soul goes somewhere, but even in that case, the extent of your time on this earth in this being has come to an end. That brings about existential crisises to those that think this is a one shot deal. That you have one chance to get it "roght". However, I look at it this way. You have one shot to try. After that shot, for my beliefs, there is no reason to feel that you have succeeded or failed at anything, because you are dead. So, that leaves, do what you want to do with your life, and if you fail, you got to experience the life of someonw who tried to do things and failed every time. and that in itself is a wonderful thing. The second reason for fear of death, the inabilithy to effect the world, makes more sense to me. Say there are certain things you wnat to set up before you go, for most people that is to have kids, parent them, and leave them enough inheritence to survive and pass on to the next generation. The fear that you will die before you can set things up the way you want is rational, and the only real reponse to that should not be to hide the fear, but to act quickly becaye death could come at any moment, and if you still have things you want to leave in this world, it may be too late before long.


I appologise to those of you who are interested in the content, and annoyed at the spelling and gramatical mistakes. I hope to log back on in th efuture and fix these. For now, thanks for reading, catch you next time.

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